There are bad habits fought over by psychologists all over the world, like talking badly about yourself or gnawing on your misfortunes before bed. They make us feel insecure and unhappy.
9. Being anxious about your imperfections
Perfectionism is a result of low self-esteem and anxiety because of which you can’t feel proud of even the best accomplishments.
What to do: When your internal critic starts blaming you, try to analyze whose expectations those really are and why you should live up to them. Start a diary of self-acceptance, write 3 entries with your accomplishments every day, and read them from time to time.
8. Comparing yourself to others
We tend to compare our worst traits with the best we see in others, forgetting that everyone is unique in their own way.
What to do: Compare your today’s self only to your past self, and learn from the rest instead of making parallels. Get inspired, not frustrated.
7. Denigrating yourself in conversation
Self-deprecation is either an unconscious way to get a lot of compliments or a weak attempt to excuse a future failure you’re sure you will have.
What to do: Remember, it’s our weaknesses that make us unique. Accept them, and so will the rest. Otherwise, people will eventually come to think you’re really as bad as you say you are.
6. Seeing obstacles instead of opportunities
All the hurdles you’ll have to overcome to reach your goals are a lame excuse for doing nothing at all and then scolding yourself for that.
What to do: There are no misfortunes, only valuable experience. A failure is a reason to change your approach, not reject your goal altogether.
5. Thinking no one will do it better than you
The inability to delegate any work to another for fear of a lousy job is, psychologists say, also a result of insecurity and a tendency to control everything.
What to do: Delegating a job to others is a sign of confidence, and it doesn’t necessarily concern work per se. Being able to send your husband for groceries without totally controlling him is in this category as well. Relieve yourself of responsibility for all and everything.
4. Being anxious about your future
Imagining the worst possible scenario in any situation is a good way to lose a great deal of energy and self-esteem.
What to do: Think positively, and remember that not everything in reality goes the way it does in your imagination. You’ve seen that happen.
3. Seeking the approval of other people
A self-conscious person will always want to hear approval of his merits from others, not knowing this chase for praise won’t bring them any satisfaction. Any criticism will be equal to the end of the world.
What to do: Learn to realize your own value for yourself. Become your own best friend.
2. Wasting time on useless entertainment
If you drown your failures in shopping or binge-watching TV shows, you just waste time and energy you could’ve spent on self-improvement.
What to do: Better turn your negative feelings into energy to change your life. Study, create, generate ideas in the fields you’re interested in, and you’ll get back on your feet in no time.
1. Attaching too much significance to previous failures
Dwelling on your past mistakes and what a loser you still are in others’ eyes for failing that important project back in the ’90s won’t bring you any confidence.
What to do: Accept the fact that you did what you could do in those circumstances. Analyze your progress this far. Show yourself some love and sympathy. Rest assured that people have long since forgotten your mistakes because they mostly think of themselves.