There are phrases that can seem innocent but are, in fact, irritating or even drive others mad. That’s because the person saying them demonstrates their indifference to you and your feelings.
We came up with illustrative examples of phrases that can result in disaster, so don’t say them to your loved ones.
“I told you so!“ / ”I knew it!”
A person made a mistake and you feel obliged to rub it in? You just have to remind them you did warn them, they dared to not listen to you, and here’s the result, right? Let them remember that you’re clever and know everything better than them.
And that’s instead of showing support? No wonder the person isn’t admiring your genius but is boiling with anger.
If you say “Okay“ to any request with a blank face, don’t be surprised when you see distrust instead of gratitude in the eyes of the asker. ”Okay“ can mean anything from “I’ll do it later” to ”I won’t even bother, okay?”
“Forgive me for saying this, but…”
This phrase is immediately followed by something unpleasant. And it’s so convenient, isn’t it? You’ve apologized in advance, and now you can tell the whole ugly truth right to the person’s face. Why would they be offended, really?
“You wouldn’t be interested.“ / ”You wouldn’t understand.”
Just imagine that something you’re interested in can be interesting to someone else! No one would appreciate and understand your affections, and explaining them is a waste of time. All those questions are just accentuating their ignorance in the matter. You know better, right?
“You didn’t tell me that!”
You may forget what you were told, of course. But why bother admitting it? By saying “You didn’t tell me that!” you clear your conscience of your own faults. And you show what you think about your opponent’s sanity too, by the way.
“I hear you.“ / ”I understand what you say.”
Your opponent is fervently telling you something and is awaiting your reaction. But instead they have to face the dry information that you have ears, and no more than that. Deductions, opinions, support — all that is beyond your dignity and isn’t worth a second thought. Let them know that.
An indifferent “Relax” will often lead to just the opposite. You’re rejecting the importance of your opponent’s problem, and instead of showing support or understanding, you only show them their place.
“Here we go again…”
Your opponent may be worried a lot about that problem, and they’ve tried time and again to discuss it, all to no avail. With this phrase, you let them know you’re awfully tired of the subject, as well as totally indifferent to it.
“Why do you need these expensive things? You’re beautiful as you are.”
You really expect justification of expenses? Or maybe some revelation to descend upon your opponent about their “splurge”? And you get indignancy instead? Weird. You sure know better how they should spend their own money, and they have the guts to get offended at your generous concern. How dare they?!