One of the wisest things you can do in life is keep your secrets to yourself. One of the stupidest? To expect other people to keep your secrets for you. Certain topics must always remain taboo, even when you’re talking to your closest friends.
As the famous phrase goes, you have the right to remain silent, and anything you say will be used against you.
Washing your dirty linen in public can only bring a brief sense of relief. In the next second, you’ll wish you’d never opened your mouth. Whatever the nature of the quarrel, your relatives will always remain your closest people in the world. Sooner or later, a reconciliation will happen. However, an unpleasant aftertaste from compromising your family in front of strangers will last for a long time, so it’s better to nip the problem in the bud and keep all the details of such conflicts a secret.
Parents who complain about their kids look silly. After all, aren’t they themselves to blame for bringing up such blockheads? Don’t be in a rush to tell your friends how tired you are of paying your adult son’s debts or of waiting for your daughter to get married. Whenever you share such problems with someone, remember: every single member of that person’s family (including the family cat) will hear a spiced-up and revamped version of the story.
While promiscuous men are often awarded proud titles of “alpha male“ or ”conqueror,” their female counterparts can at best expect to be called an “alley cat” (and that’s the most decent of the probable nicknames). Even in a girls-only company of friends, telling stories about your sexual adventures can earn you the reputation of being an easy-to-bed dimwit, a person who doesn’t deserve respect. If the desire to talk about this subject is too strong, try not to go into details, and never show all your cards.
A person’s sexual fantasies are one of the most intimate sides of his or her personality. People rarely share such things with anyone other than their lovers/spouses, which is perfectly understandable: most of the stuff is mightily embarrassing. By disclosing these secrets to strangers, you betray your partner’s trust, making your significant other a target of ridicule. Think about it: would you enjoy ending up in such a situation, being constantly aware of mocking glances from your friends and colleagues?
Infidelity is a serious offense, the price of which can be the loss of family life and happiness. If you’ve discovered your spouse’s unfaithfulness without outside help, and none of your mutual friends are aware of the fact, then, until you make the final decision (whether to remain with your husband or get a divorce), it’s best not to make it public knowledge. Otherwise, your friends’ attitude toward him or yourself might deteriorate. Even more importantly, if you first decide to break up with your partner and then come to forgive him, getting back together will be much harder if everyone knows the cause of your original quarrel.
The struggle for a man’s attention between his wife and his mother is hard to avoid, and it’s a conflict that can last a lifetime. Every once in a while, even the most perfect mother-in-law is bound to make her daughter-in-law mad by just being present around the house. Still, try to remain calm and remind yourself that this annoying woman is the person who gave your beloved husband to the world. If your relationship goes down the drain after all, sharing this problem with outsiders will be unlikely to help. The best course of action is to gently discuss the matter with your spouse and work out a solution in private.
When you really let a man into your life, you accept him with all his strengths and shortcomings. This means taking your partner’s side and understanding him no matter what. If, on the other hand, you choose to reveal information about your husband’s health problems, unusual physical features, or bad habits to strangers, you’ll just end up hurting yourself, even if you do that in order to hurt him. The way outsiders will see it is your husband might be a weirdo and a loser, but you are an even bigger weirdo/loser for deciding to live with such a person.
Loss of money is probably among the most painful, yet invaluable, experiences. The important thing is to learn from your mistakes without making them public. Telling all your friends that you’ve fallen victim to a financial scam or got burned on the stock market amounts to admitting your financial inefficiency. The story will do the rounds, and, as a result, your friends will see you as a short-sighted individual and hesitate to lend you money in the future.
If you look carefully, every family history contains at least one ne’er-do-well relative with behavioral problems. Sure, your second cousin becoming hooked on drugs makes for a fascinating story. But remember — that person will be labeled for life, all thanks to you.
Like everything else, friendships have expiry dates. Eventually, relationships between you and your friends might go sour or merely subside. That is why, having once opened your heart to someone, you might strongly regret this in the future. So you definitely shouldn’t hurry to share all your secrets.
- Here is a simple yet effective trick that’ll help you keep your mouth shut. Each of us has a kind of personal “censor,“ a person in whose presence you’ll never say careless stuff. It could be your mother, your spouse, or your boss. Next time you want to relate your family problems to a friend, just imagine that this ”censor” is close by and hears every word. If you feel you’re about to say something that this person wouldn’t approve of, listen to your hunch and steer the conversation elsewhere.